The idea of ‘opposites attract’ is so deeply ingrained in our mind that we may accept it as the truth. But in reality, compatibility is one of the most essential ingredients in a relationship. When you’re in love, being able to share companionship and enjoy sharing ‘we time’ activities together, plays an important part in helping the bond survive through the odds. But if you are in an incompatible relationship, chances are you will feel the ride may be rocky.
The Merriam Webster defines being incompatible as being incapable of association or harmonious coexistence. Then how can being a mismatched couple be healthy? Well, unless you or your partner are the kind of people who are willing to adjust and understand every day, things may certainly get tougher.
“Mismatched compatibility and suitability can play havoc in the individual as well as their partner’s life. It can lead to more negative interactions, lowered self-esteem and jeopardised mental well-being,” Ruchi Ruuh tells Health Shots.
Having said that, let us not ignore the fact that even compatible couples can be at odds with each other on certain days and in situations!
5 side effects of being in an incompatible relationship
According to the expert, lacking common temperaments, interests or life goals, can impact a relationship and people’s lives in different ways. Let us find out about some of these side effects of being in an incompatible relationship.
Lack of satisfaction in a relationship may be usual when two people are not in sync with each other’s ideas of life. “In therapy, when we see mismatched couples they usually come feeling completely dissatisfied with life and their partnership. The relationship dissatisfaction later seeps into other areas of life like work, family and even children,” says Ruchi Ruuh. Therefore, she suggests it is important that a couple shares healthy emotional, physical, monetary and sexual compatibility before going all the way in the relationship. Also remember, healthy relationships need constant hard work.
2. Frequent unresolved conflicts
People who don’t form trust and understanding in the initial phases of their relationships and haven’t created good models of conflict resolution, have frequent fights about mostly the same issues repeatedly. Each conflict tears apart the couple a little more and ultimately one or both partners become abusive, adds the expert.
Also read: 5 tips to manage differences in a relationship if you and your partner are like chalk and cheese!
3. Lowered self-esteem and self-doubt
It is natural – when our needs are not met, we start feeling inadequate. Even after trying our best, we aren’t able to keep our partner or ourselves happy, we start doubting our ability to love and be lovable. “All this leads to lowered self-esteem and we start accepting unkind behaviour and rejecting love or happiness,” says Ruchi Ruuh. She explains that a lowered self-esteem can also negatively impact a person’s social skills, body image and increase the risk of mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety.
Cheating or infidelity can become a reality. “Many mismatched couples start looking for other sources to satisfy their needs for love, emotions or sex. People who are compatible both emotionally and physically tend to stray less as most of their needs are met within the relationship,” she explains.
5. Decreased motivation and productivity
Needless to say, our relationships impact our lives so deeply that when people start feeling anxious in their relationships, it starts reflecting in their work performance as well. “Such people constantly overthink and are not able to focus on their work. Many studies show that relationship satisfaction is directly linked to work performance,” points out the expert.
Can incompatible relationships work?
After reading this, if you’re left wondering whether incompatible relationships can work, the answer my friend, lies within your heart and mind. Ask yourself if you are ready to work harder on sustaining and maintaining the relationship. But wait a minute, isn’t that a part and parcel of every bond?
As long as you’re not in a toxic relationship or you know within your heart that life’s not going to be only about adjustments, take a call and fix it!